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I remember when I told my mom I was going to marry a pastor, and the first words out of her mouth were, “He better not move you away from me.” Much to her dismay, her question became a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I found myself living five states over, away from home, at twenty years old. It didn’t take long for me to learn that living away from family was just one of the many sacrifices that ministry would ask of me. Being the wife of a pastor carries many unique burdens, expectations, and different ways of thinking, but ministry is also a life filled with favor, blessings, opportunities, and meaningful life experiences that wouldn’t come otherwise. Over the course of seven years in fulltime ministry, I have developed a few philosophies that I think are unique to pastors' wives. These new “norms” for Jason and me have helped our marriage to remain healthy and thriving amidst the idiosyncrasies of life in the ministry.
Be his biggest cheerleader
This comes naturally for me because my general disposition is to be an encourager. Ministry is filled with highs and lows, and each high and low carries significant emotional swings. It is so difficult for pastors to not
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The autopsy report has officially been released for the death of Whitney Houston. The report states that contrary to popular belief it wasn’t cocaine or prescription pills that killed Whitney it was actually her addiction to coffee. It is believed that she drank coffee 5-6 times a day. Some of her friends claim they witnessed Whitney stopping by her dealer at least once a day and it is believed she spent thousands of dollars every year purchasing it….
Ok I made that up, but what if it was true? What if we found out that Whitney was addicted to coffee and not cocaine or pain pills? Would it change your opinion about where she would spend eternity? I watched her funeral on Saturday and during the 4 hour memorial it struck me that no one in the service even doubted or questioned the fact that Whitney Houston was in heaven. So is she? I have no idea, but I hope so.
I can’t seem to shake the question since I heard about her passing, and though my opinion is not needed on this issue, I figured I would offer a few thoughts.
The church doesn’t really know how to handle addiction.
We preach against certain kinds of addictions, and we should, but we are completely comfortable with
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Any leader with experience has been challenged with the prospect of presenting an idea to a group of counselors, board members, elders, etc. in hopes of finding agreement, affirmation, approval, etc. For many years I presented an annual budget to a board of directors whose responsibility to approve my budget line by line always made the weeks up to the presentation filled with stress and diligent planning.
First off, accountability is power and any good leader wants input and needs places where his/her ideas are vetted and fresh eyes and ears process. There is safety in making your life open and accessible to people who care and who have interest in your success. I’m always nervous when people shy away from accountability because it is fraught with great peril. No man or woman is smart enough to lead without help and some level of accountability. Depending on the kind of business, ministry or responsibility, the kind of accountability needed varies. Where vision, money, time and talent are involved, accountability is absolutely needed.
So the question is how to present and how to get others to buy in?
Here are a few simple rules I use…
Don’t assume others know
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